There can be times in family life when families somehow disconnect. It may be that each member of your family has their own schedule and they all overlap hence not getting to see each other much. It may also be that you have not made enough time for your children because it has not been physically possible. Either way it is possible your family may have become detached. The result of this is you and your children missing out on the essential interaction of sharing information and experiences and for a family to really work it is best to know what everyone is upto. It can be quite sad when families do not know what is going on in each individuals lives. Just the sharing of information can strengthen the connection.
So how can you re-connect? You can reconnect by going back to basics and getting to know your children again – their feelings, their interests, likes and dislikes, what they have been doing at school etc. This can be as easy as sitting reading a book, playing a game or having meals together and talking. Your child will feel valued and loved that you are showing an interest in them again and that’s what they want most of all. Children need time and love for them to grow and families are a wonderful thing to be a part of.
The Christmas and holiday time is perfect for re-connecting. What one thing do you plan to do to re-connect as a family in the coming weeks?
And this gets harder as your kids get older. Parents become less “cool” , more “boring” and generally less attractive people to hang out with, let along reconnect! But it’s so important isn’t it – and I think it’s easy when your kids become teenagers and have more of an independent social lie – to forget how important this connection is. Then there are the challenges of different genders and ages. Things we do include – extended family meals and having friend over for big meals who have kids the same age as ours; family DVD nights; Sunday morning family movie visits are planned; short bushwalks (that’s our Aussie forests) followed by a visit to a cafe; beach visits; board games; cooking together; ….
Great comments. I will also add that you try to make time to do something one-on-one with each child. It can be chores. One child cooks with you, another comes on a shopping trip. But you will be amazed at the conversations that can happen while you work together. Mind you, you can also choose to play together.
Yvette I love the idea of the beach visits and forest walks. I think there are lots of opportunities and things you can do with older children to reconnect that give them space and don’t make them feel hemmed in or pressured to talk. Great ideas Yvette – thank you for sharing them and I hope you had a great break.
Kathy thank you for your comment. I totally agree with what you say about one to one time. In the holidays it is much more possible to do this without rushing from A to B and also feeling more relaxed about leaving other jobs behind. I hope you enjoyed your holidays.
Even though it was a really busy time for us, we made sure that we set time aside to spend with our children. Sitting and watching old films together, joining in with their new games etc. It was really important to us as children grow so quickly. I certainly learnt a lot from them!
That’s great Helen. Holidays are such great reconnecting times and children will happily open up, talk and share when we and they are relaxed and we have TIME. Thank you fro your comment and I am glad you enjoyed the holidays.