We all make them don’t we? We don’t like making them as they can have some serious implications but they are unavoidable and just happen. As adults we are used to making them and have years of practice accepting they do. But what do we do when our children make them and they are ones of the biggish type?
Well some parents will shout at their child and scare them in the hope that they will never make that mistake again. The child may then start to hide their mistakes or blame others for theirs. Other children who are reprimanded for making a mistake may set lower goals for themselves out of fear of failure (there will be no room for mistakes) and may keep their aspirations low key. We don’t want this either for our children.
So what can we do?
We can show them that it is ok to make mistakes by not paying much attention to them. Say, ‘It doesn’t matter’, ‘Don’t worry about it’ or ‘You made that mistake and I know you will not do it again because…..’ and we can focus on their achievements. Another way to help our children accept their mistakes is by admitting our own and that doing so doesn’t make you a bad person.
How do you respond when your children make mistakes?
This is good Naomi! Parents that are too harsh with their kids mistakes can turn their kids into risk averse, dishonest children. Thank you!
Thank you Chris for your thoughts. I think it is can be a case of pick your battles – instead it is pick your mistakes and if it is a whopper of a mistake it needs a serious discussion.
Thank you Chris for your thoughts. I think it is can be a case of pick your battles – instead it is pick your mistakes and if it is a whopper of a mistake it needs a serious discussion.
I agree with everything you say. I try hard not to over-react when things go wrong or they make a big mistake and encourage them to talk through what has happened, hopefully guiding them to the right conclusion!
Definitely arm around the shoulder, but in sport some kids like a kick up the back side and others the shoulder approach. Its up to you to distinguish which child is which?
Definitely arm around the shoulder, but in sport some kids like a kick up the back side and others the shoulder approach. Its up to you to distinguish which child is which?
Katie, I like your style. As you know I like talking things through so you are a lady after my own heart. Thank you for your comment.
Katie, I like your style. As you know I like talking things through so you are a lady after my own heart. Thank you for your comment.
Don, thank you for your comment. Yes we have to know what our children respond to more and their sensitivities but we also need to be fairly realistic about the seriousness of the mistake and act accordingly.
My big thing with mistakes is how you fix things if you make them. Making mistakes is part of learning and if kids get scared of making mistakes they can get stuck.
When I make mistakes I try to set an example by owning up and apologising where I have to! If the kids make mistakes, I think it’s important not to overreact – put it in context and let them see how to fix what’s happened.
I love the way you handle this Fiona. I agree with all that you say. Thank you for your comment.
I love the way you handle this Fiona. I agree with all that you say. Thank you for your comment.
As adults we sometimes react far too quickly when I child has a made a mistake. Where as just taking a few moments to stop and access the degree of the mistake is beneficial to both parties. We all learn from our mistakes, be there to guide your child, many a times they know the right answer and path to choose themselves.
As adults we sometimes react far too quickly when I child has a made a mistake. Where as just taking a few moments to stop and access the degree of the mistake is beneficial to both parties. We all learn from our mistakes, be there to guide your child, many a times they know the right answer and path to choose themselves.
Natalie thank you for the comment. Yes I think we can react far too quickly when our children make a mistake. Taking a moment out is a great idea.
Hi Nathalie, I’m not sure we do all learn form our mistakes you know. I think we all should unpick our mistakes and look at what went wrong. I have made the mistake of losing my house keys a hundered times. I need to look at that, discover why and make a plan. I think we need to help kids do the same or they may repeat mistakes too,.
Hi Nathalie, I’m not sure we do all learn form our mistakes you know. I think we all should unpick our mistakes and look at what went wrong. I have made the mistake of losing my house keys a hundered times. I need to look at that, discover why and make a plan. I think we need to help kids do the same or they may repeat mistakes too,.
Becky, that is a fair point you make. Why did it happen, what can I do so that it does not happen again? We need to get our children to see that they can avoid some mistakes – those within their own being. Thank you for your comment Becky.
The lesson. I love emphasizing the lesson. Hmmm guess we wont be doing that again. That was a bad outcome. Whoa! I like that and admitting that you make mistakes and that it doesn’t make you happy, but you are proud when the mistakes are new because at least you have learned from the old ones and its not the same mistake over and over and over again. Now that’s silly!
The lesson. I love emphasizing the lesson. Hmmm guess we wont be doing that again. That was a bad outcome. Whoa! I like that and admitting that you make mistakes and that it doesn’t make you happy, but you are proud when the mistakes are new because at least you have learned from the old ones and its not the same mistake over and over and over again. Now that’s silly!