At some time or another we have all been left out – whether that is not being invited to a party or not being included in a conversation or game. How did it make you feel? Awful I bet. How does it make your child feel when they are? I imagine they feel awful too. So what can you do as a parent when they come to you with hurt feelings because they have been excluded by one person or by a clique?
You could share your experiences of when you were or are left out and you can help them to understand that they cannot be included in everything.
You can get them to focus on other friends or people they like in their class/year – away from the clique and the excluder. Perhaps they could spend time with children who aren’t part of a clique. Talk to your child about the other children and ask them who do they think would make a good or better friend?
Ask them if they think they could remain part of the clique and accept the situation. However if they do they need to stay true to who they are and not change themselves to be included.
They could become friendlier with the people they like in the clique and spend time with them outside of school so that their bond with them is stronger and they are more likely to be invited into group activities more.
There are always going to be times when your child is left out. By teaching them resilience and discussing the reality of how friendships and cliques work they will soon understand that it is not just them who is not invited to everything and that they should enjoy the times when they are.
How have you dealt with your child’s exclusion?