Is what other people think of us really that important? It shouldn’t be but actually it is. Many people care about how others see us – including the person we are, the way we behave and the way we look.
I did a workshop recently where the Year Seven girls said they were worried about how others saw and thought about them. Year Seven is a tricky year as children leave behind old friends and have to make new ones. They are fairly self-conscious about who they are and worry that others will not like, or accept them. They feel they are going to be judged by the other children.
But making new friends at secondary school is no different to making them in other social situations. Help your chid to think about these different friendship groups and what they bring to them.
Making Friends in Different Social Situations
We need to help children see who they are and get them to look outside of the school environment and their friendships there. Do they already have any good friends? If so, those are people that already like them for who they are. So they can be confident that they can make friends and be liked.
Do they feel a part of something and attached to others too? Then those children already see them for who they are and like them. This shows your child that they have already been accepted into a friendship group and they can be again in a school setting.
We cannot take away the judgement of others and what other people think of them and they way they look. They have to know that those people that are judging them are not going to be their friends. If we let our children worry about what others think of them it will hinder them making friends and relaxing into friendships.
Being with judgemental people will also mean children put up an unnecessary barrier. Help them to be themselves, be natural, be genuine and be interested in others and the right friends will gravitate towards them without them realising it.