We can all shout. Parents shout because our children are not listening, because they are not doing something we asked or expected them to do. Maybe they are misbehaving.
Children can shout at parents because they think we aren’t listening, are being unreasonable or uncooperative. They can shout at their siblings for any reason under the sun (it seems).
There are lots of reasons why parents shout and why our children shout at each other and at us. Shouting leads to anger and generally, some consequences. It is never a nice family atmosphere where there is shouting.
Dealing with the Causes of Shouting
If we want a less shouty household, we need to find out why the shouting is happening so that we can address each problem associated with it. Here’s how:
- Make a list of all those things that you don’t feel that you are getting from your children.
- Make another list where your children do the same about the parents.
- There is a final list, of course, and that is one that relates to your children.
- Go through each issue on the list and discuss a solution.
This helps to get issues out in the open and start to recognise patterns of behaviour that cause the shouting or make it worse. This self-awareness of the problems will help your family to tackle them.
Solutions to Shouting
As a family, explore what solutions would work best for certain situations. Maybe it is going into the room where the person you want to speak with is sitting, and talk to them rather than shouting from another room.
Try using different language or motivation. It might mean re-writing the rules of the house and having them up in the kitchen. Make it clear what the alternatives to shouting are.
And remember, the shouting could be the result of not talking enough about a bad day at school or something as simple as a hungry tummy. There are many reasons to shout but everyone in the family should learn how to curb the need to do so for a happier home life.