Ever used the phrase ‘good job’ to praise your child? How does it sound to you when you read that and say it out loud?
To me it sounds slightly patronising and it does not tell me what exactly the ‘good job’ is for. What is good about it? Did the person do it the way you wanted them to do it or was it good enough to pass your expectations?
There was an article yesterday in the news that explains why you should not use the term ‘good job’ as it is not specific and does not have an explanation attached to it. Here is the article and a video too: Here’s Why You shouldn’t Say ‘Good Job’ To Your Kids
What we really should be doing is saying ‘Wow. Look how you did….’ or ‘I love how…..’ It sounds so different.
The video, (which I think demonstrates the ‘good job’ point really clearly), highlights other words we could be using as well as other phrases we use with our children that may be doing more harm than good. For example if we say ‘be careful’ a lot then our children may become fearful and not want to try new things or experiment. We should not be protecting them from new experiences but encouraging them to discover and learn. What we say is so important to building the character of our child. The same goes for how often we say things too. If we say the same phrase over and over again the child no longer hears it or it means nothing to them.
If we really thought about what we are saying and how we interpret what our children hear we would probably want to tweak our language. What else could you say instead of the words you use?