There is so much in the press about the different types of parents and the pros and the cons of being each one. You cannot get away from the fact that people love to label other people’s parenting. We slate one kind for a while and then we move onto another type and slate their style too. I have no idea what I would call myself but it definitely is not pushy. Probably a ‘bit too laid back with rules’ parent. On the web last week there was an article about pushy parents and whether they are making their children cruel. It says that they are. There is research to back it up, although I would have liked to have seen some research on children from regular homes rather than those just from a high income household. I can see the reasons as to why pushy parents could create cruel children but I doubt this is true in all cases.
Can There Be Balance For Pushy Parents?
- If we put too much pressure on our children academically then they will feel anxious. Knowing that they are expected to do well does not allow them to have a relaxed mindset when doing work or tests. There can be a sense of panic and “what if I don’t do well”?
- That balance is really important. We can encourage and push our children gently to do well. I believe that this works best if we say to our children ‘Try your best’.
- In a round about way it says we need to focus on their well-being and value social skills rather than academic success.
Have a read of the article: Parenting Problems: Are Pushy Parents Making Children Cruel?. Although based on research overseas it is still an interesting read. Would you take its findings with a pinch of salt or do you believe it to be true? Personally I think every child is different and reacts to pressure in a different way. Sometimes it can be positive. Not that I am condoning pushiness but gentle pushing can sometimes be positive. There is also another book called ‘Taming the tiger parent’ which I wrote about. It is not a book I wrote but is about pushing children to reach their potential.
What’s your parenting style? Do you consider yourself to be a pushy parent and if so, how does it benefit your children and would you agree that it can make them cruel? Leave your thoughts in the comments or via Facebook and Twitter.
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