We can only do what we can with the information we have. That is a rational thought process isn’t it? Sometimes though we can get stuck in situations and cannot see the right thing to do. Children, in particular, don’t know the right thing to do often. They will do something that is working against situations rather than with it and can make it worse – friendships can break up, people can say nasty things, they could get into more trouble, etc.
Why do children work against the situation? They don’t intend to but they think it they keep on doing what they did before it may work. The reality is that they need to take a step back and assess the situation thoroughly…
What is happening right now?
What do I know about the people involved?
What do I think is really going on?
Who is feeling what?
What can I do about it?
Once they have all this information children can decide what they can do to make the situation better. Is there anything they need to do to their feelings towards it or is there anything they can do in terms of changing their actions? What is going to get the result they want?
Taking a step back and thinking about the situation from a third party perspective can also help. If they were an outsider looking in what would they see and what would they change?
Encourage your child to think about these things to help them learn how to work with situations rather than against them.