Forming New Habits

You have to do something 66 times before it becomes a habit and although they say habits are difficult to break I think it is just as difficult to start new ones.

As parents we sometimes have to teach them the hard way for them to form new habits. For instance giving homework in. If your child forgets to take and hand in their homework, you could either drive up to school so they don’t get a fail, or they could be taught a hard lesson – if you don’t organise yourself and remember your homework then you will be in trouble. The natural consequence should help your child reflect on how they can do better next time.

In what ways do you highlight the consequences of your child’s actions?

10 Comments for this entry

• 

  Theresa

  March 23rd, 2011 on 4:52 pm

  Rewarding the positive is always better than sanctions if they dont do something, but both work hand in hand. If your child doesnt do what they are being asked to do after 2-3 times of asking, I take away a treat. Its about teaching them to show respect. Also as you say, letting them discover the natural consequences of their own actions is hard for both parents and children, but teenagers for eg need to experience life as an adult would sometimes (eg: if you’re continually late for school you accept the consequences at school as adults have to learn to be punctual in the world of work)
  Hope that helps
• 

  Naomi Richards

  March 23rd, 2011 on 9:31 pm

  It does help thank you Theresa. I sometimes feel cruel when I let my children face the consequences but I know they won’t do it again -too often.
• 

  becky

  March 24th, 2011 on 8:59 pm

  My kids straighten up there room every night before bed. It has taken since Christmas to establish this but it’s lovely to start a new day with a great space to dress and play. It takes them only 5-10 minutes too. Now mostly they just do it. A great habit learned.
• 

  Naomi Richards

  March 24th, 2011 on 10:41 pm

  Thank you Becky. My biggest habit maker is my children getting dressed in the morning. Unitl they do there is no going downstairs to play.
• 

  Grace Marshall

  March 25th, 2011 on 2:49 pm

  I’ve found that kids actually adapt to new habits quicker than adults, probably because things change so quickly for them when they are young, compared to some adult routines that have been established for decades! Let me see, I think I wrote a post about that here: http://grace-marshall.com/hooks-and-habits-when-motivation-alone-is-not-enough/

  As for learning consequences, I remember once when we got to school and Oliver said “Oh mummy we forgot my…” I can’t even remember what it was – book bag or PE kit or water bottle. The thing is, I made a point of saying “No, Oliver you forgot it. These are your things to remember.” I don’t think the consequences were particularly harsh but the fact that he had to live with it through the day (rather than me running home to get it) helped him to take that responsibility a little bit more to heart.
• 

  Naomi

  March 25th, 2011 on 3:42 pm

  Thank you Grace for your comment. I always think it is great to go through with the consequences and you are right when you say they won’t do it often -was temepted to put again but these things do happen from time to time. Us humans make mistakes!
• 

  Lori Lite / Stress Free Kids

  March 26th, 2011 on 4:37 pm

  Instead of just having a negative consequence…I encourage creative solution solving. Call a friend…redo the HW…keep an extra book at home…leave a post it note on bedroom door…or LOL on car dashboard..whatever it takes to overcome any challenges..and empower children.
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  Ash Mashhadi

  March 27th, 2011 on 1:52 pm

  I really like his post, Naomi. We often focus so much on breaking bad habits that it’s easy to forget the importance of making good ones that empower and enable our children. One habit that I try to encourage with my kids is to perform a regular Power Hour (it’s usually more like 30 minutes) where they read, watch or review some positive or empowering material such as a book or video. The purpose is to try and encourage a great attitude that can be useful to them in other areas of their lives.
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  Naomi Richards

  March 27th, 2011 on 6:02 pm

  Lori, thank you for the comment. I am alll for creative solution solving. I do lots of this in my sessions and often find these kind of reminders really work – especially with coloured post-its!
• 

  Naomi Richards

  March 27th, 2011 on 6:04 pm

  Wow I like the sound of that Ash. Educational as well. I am not sure my children are ready for that yet but I will make a mental note of it. Thank you for the comment.

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