Is it wrong to be a pushy parent?

April 22, 2011 | My Blog,The Kids Coach | Naomi Richards | 4 Comments

Mmmm what is the definition of a pushy parent? In my mind it is a parent who wants their child to excel in one or more areas of their life and therefore encourages and motivates them in a forceful way to get to the place that the parent wants them to be.

If this is a vaguely right definition is it okay to do this to a child?

I think it is great that parents recognise what their child is capable of, how well they are doing and that a particular skill should be nurtured. However, it is important that the parent knows for sure that their child is good at a subject and that the push is done in the right way.

For example children will be more receptive to parents giving them the self-belief and support to do well. They will also respond well to not being rushed and hurried into exams and awards before they are ready. This really could set them up for failure.

How much do you push for your child to do better and in what way?

4 Comments for this entry

Chris Spradlin
April 22nd, 2011 on 2:21 pm

Great post Naomi! I am struggling with this as we speak. trying to find the balance of pushing my kids because i know the tremendous gifts they have deep inside. Maybe i pull them out and not push them out!?!
Naomi
April 22nd, 2011 on 2:31 pm

Chris perhaps that is the way to do it then! Thank you for your comment. I think if we something in our children then we should gently nudge it and encourage it.
Lori Lite / Stress Free Kids
May 6th, 2011 on 9:23 pm

I love what Chris said! I have never considered myself to be a pushy parent..and sometimes I wonder if the pushers have a point. I put most of my energy into nurturing my children’s dreams and creativity. I want them to excel in an area that brings their life joy and meaning.
Naomi
May 7th, 2011 on 6:51 am

Lori nice thought. I think there is a fine line between pushing and encouraging/nurturing. Talking to your child about how they feel and what they want can help decide how much pushing they need/respond to.

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