Controlling our children – is it a good thing or a bad thing? What do you think? It can be very easy for parents to try and control every move, decision and choice their child makes. But does it make for a happy child who can look after themselves? Probably not.
We want our children to grow up doing as much as they can for themselves and having an element of control over their own lives is part of that. Having control will make them feel empowered and trusted by you. They will feel like they have a bit of freedom and choice, whilst teaching them about how to make good decisions and avoid bad ones.
There are benefits to allowing your child to have more control, so parents, let’s try and allow it.
Allowing Your Child To Make Their Own Decisions
Giving control to your child in some areas – perhaps what activities they do or what they do with friends – can only be a good thing. Once control is handed over though, we need to step back and allow them to make their own decisions. This means that they are responsible for the outcome of their decision (not us parents), so if things go wrong, they have to be accountable for them. We shouldn’t try to change their mind once they make a decision or have any influence over the decision they have made even if we think it is the wrong one. This shows a child that we don’t trust them.
Giving age-appropriate control helps children learn many important skills such as judgement, decision-making, problem-solving etc. It also helps us recognise that our children can be extremely resourceful, capable and adaptable. If children are able to do more for themselves, it also means that parents have less to do as they take more responsibility for themselves.
Book a Life Coaching Session for Your Child
Book a Life Coaching Session for Your ChildLife coaching for kids and teens can help your children develop their decision-making skills. Why not give me a call to find out how I help children aged between 8-16 years old to coach them through lives changes.
[Published Dec 2022 | Updated Aug 2025]
