It is very easy to be negative about yourself and to put yourself down. Especially when you aren’t doing well at something. It can make you have negative thoughts and see yourself in a less positive light. We can focus on that thing far too much – which is not good for our mental health.
Children are no different. If you have a child that focuses on what they can’t do rather than what they can, we need to help them change their focus. How do parents do this?
Create a List to Focus On
Well let’s get them talking about the things they do well, then get them write them down. They can include anything including things they may find funny or take for granted e.g they can hear well, are good at running etc. How long is the finished list? I imagine it is pretty long.
Then talk to them about the things they feel they can’t do so well. How long is that list? Hopefully much smaller. How do they know they don’t do them so well? Is there evidence? Maybe there is but there may not be any evidence. Are they comparing themselves to others in their assessment or selling themselves short? If so they need to stop.
Can they put the ‘not so good at’ things into perspective and start to focus on what they are good at. In addition they could start to work harder on those areas they aren’t so good in and become better. It is all about focus and a positive focus means a positive mindset.