For any kind of relationship to really work, we should learn to occasionally keep our mouth shut. What do I mean by that?!
For smooth relationships, there’s no need to share every thought and feeling when another person does something that annoys you. That may mean that we have to learn to develop tolerance, otherwise we could fall out with family and friends on a regular basis.
Children need to have a good level of tolerance for others too. If not, they may be arguing a lot with their friends, which is not ideal for sustaining healthy friendships. And they may become known as ‘that’ person who regularly causes arguments and bad feelings. If this is the case, other children may want to avoid them.
Helping an Argumentative Child
So, how can parents help an argumentative child? If it’s becoming a problem for them, we should give children the tools to try and improve the situation.
- Try and be more amicable to avoid causing an upset. Be friendly and stick to neutral topics.
- Think about the consequences before speaking. They can do this by thinking a situation through and asking themselves questions like: ‘Is it worth arguing about?’. ‘How will my friends respond?’. ‘If I say that, will I upset anyone?’.
- Can they walk away if they feel an argument is starting? Try not reacting to triggers as they might normally.
- Learn to argue their case calmly. We won’t always agree, but we can disagree without getting cross.
- Realise that how others behave or what they say may not be intended to be rude or cause a problem. They may just have a different type of personality and way of expressing themselves.
We don’t want our children to walk on eggshells but we do need to teach them how to avoid an argument, if possible.
Being more tolerant and less judgemental will mean fewer arguments and better friendships. Surely, that’s what we want for our children, isn’t it?