We can’t rely on other people to do things for us. We can’t rely on them to build us up, to notice when we need cheering up or to recognise if we have a problem. If we rely on others too much then we can easily get let down by them, then we feel disappointed and often frustrated by them.
We all have experience of asking someone to help us and they forget or just made excuses and didn’t help. We wait for them and wait but it does not happen. Its very disappointing, particularly if you always try to help other people.
We have to learn to rely on ourselves – not for everything, but if we want to get something done, we need to do it ourselves. We can’t rely on others to fix our problems, make us feel better or make decisions for us. We need to do that for ourselves, in the best way that we can.
Ideally, parents should teach their children to be self-sufficient and to get on with things themselves. To do whatever they can for themselves and be responsible for their own feelings. To find a way to fix their own problems and to be able to get over bumps in the road. I am not saying they should never ask for help, but get your children to see that not everyone around them will be willing, or have the time, to help them.
There may be many good reasons for it. Someone doesn’t always want to be responsible for another persons woes or struggles. Maybe they have a lot going on in their own life and don’t have the mental energy to get involved with someone else’s problems.
Learning to rely on yourself is an essential life skill and promotes independence and personal growth. Give your children the tools to be able to stand on their own two feet and grow into the young people we want.