Children Moving Towards IndependenceThe cusp of Primary School. Secondary school. Pre-teens. Independence.

If it has not happened yet – it will happen soon. Your son or daughter is going to want to go out on their own and have independence and you are going to have to let them. Scary!!!!

We will want to set rules so they know what they can and cannot do, and we will want to tell them that they must not do x, y or z.

It’s natural to want to keep your child safe. So, how can we stop being over-protective, panicky and let them get on with it so they can learn this independence that they need to have to grow?

5 Ways to help children develop independence:

1. Remind ourselves that it is not an easy time for either us or our children. New rules surrounding freedom are going to have to be put in place. We may get some of these rules wrong before we find out what works best.

2. Make rules around independence with your child. Decide how you will both communicate whilst they are out doing their own thing.

3. Be available for children when they want to talk. Make sure you listen to them and help without judgement, when needed.

4. Realise that all children have to go through this stage of life and that with it comes new experiences for your child and growth of who they need to become.

5. Finally, we need to make children aware of how they can be safe and instil in them our values and beliefs so that they know what is expected of them and are able to take responsibility for themselves.

What else have you done or would you do?


PHOTO CREDIT: Image courtesy of photostock at

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