Best friends

Not all of your children’s friends will be perfect although your child may want them to be. Everyone has their flaws. Some children will be incredibly tolerant of friends foibles, (although I don’t know too many of them) – others will get annoyed by their friends habits and the way they behave. We need to teach children tolerance because we cannot change other people and they way they are however, we can get them to think about the annoyances and how they can handle them better.

Being Tolerant Of Friends

Get your child to make a list (I love lists) about each friend they don’t get on with/find tricky to be around and get them to think about what can they do about each person. Perhaps they can think to themselves, ‘When Ginny behaves like that I am going to think x’ or ‘When Jacob says x to me then I am going to do x’. By having this type of plan they will feel more in control of the friendship and not get so upset about the way they are being treated. They will also be more in control of their thoughts and perhaps make the thought smaller so they are more accepting of how they are behaving.

Maybe they could walk away politely if they feel that they are starting to feel impatient and want to tell their friend to ‘stop being annoying’ or to ‘shut up’. Sometimes children can feel themselves getting angry because of how others are behaving and reaslly don’t want to be rude so walking away can help.

Being more tolerant could save friendships. It can help children get on with more personality types and not walk away from a friend who they have heaps in common with but who can be a bit mean/bossy/annoying sometimes. Everyone has moods and is not consistently happy and fun to be around. Unfortunately that is life for you and a life skill children need to learn.