Sisters with hats saying 'no thanks'

I am working with a couple of children at the moment who are quite challenging. Not for me but for their mum and dad. Their parents ask them to do something and they say ‘No’. Their parents ask them to stop doing something and they say ‘No’. Why is it that they are so resistant to help out or be more co-operative or be more agreeable? Do they not see that it does not put mum or dad in a good mood and they may take their frustration out on the child? Do they think they know best?

It is important that children realise that there are some things they just have to do and many are often for their own benefit. Their parents are asking because they want them to be helpful, want them to have nice manners, want them to be polite etc.

Does your children think they know best? Sometimes they may know best, but most of the time they do not! To help you deal with the ‘No’s’ try these ideas out…..

Be More Co-Operative With Your Kids

  • When it comes to what you think is important, write down a list and stick to your guns when your child says ‘No’.
  • Make sure the request is reasonable.
  • Allow them to make some decisions for themselves so they feel that you trust them to make some good decisions.
  • Let them hear you say ‘Yes’ sometimes.
  • Don’t get into a fight with them when they don’t accept ‘NO’.
  • Role model good manners and being agreeable with others.
  •  Thank your child when they carry out something you have asked of them.

It can be very frustrating to constantly hear ‘no’ but parents will usually get better reactions from our children if we are patient and keep cool. Even if we don’t see that result immediately, hopefully if we model the behaviour we wish to see you will get there eventually.

Have you tried any of these methods and what else could you try?

For more help and information on raising children please see my book, ‘The Parents Toolkit’