Children can change

It’s not always easy for children to deal with change, but it is useful to children if they understand that people are complex. We don’t all think the same, we don’t all do the same things, we don’t all have the same beliefs and we don’t all think the same things are important. Children also change. When a child understands this they will see that their friends are not one dimensional but they have lots of layers, so there’s lots to learn about them. Some of what they learn they will like and other parts they may not. What is important is that the bits they like outweigh the bits they don’t and that it is possible to think lots of different thoughts about someone. And that is okay. It’s also useful for our children to understand that people change. Sometimes we are very close to someone and hang around with them all the time and then there are other times when they pull away from us, or we pull away from them. There is lots of moving friendships as people come and go in their lives and this can happen for years and years. We may know or not know why friends move away from us but when it does it should be okay. 

Moving Friendships

Children need change and sometimes they need a bit of breathing space or want to spend time with others. It does not mean that that friend or those friends will not come back to them. They may do. What your child needs to do in that situation is to carry on being friendly towards them and continue with their other friendships. In other words keep the door open for that friend to come back should they want to in the future.

Do you think your child understands the to-ing and fro-ing of friends?