How we feel affects the way we interact with others, as well as the way that others perceive us. If we feel unhappy and it shows on our face then others may not feel inclined to approach us. We may look angry or moody, giving out a vibe that we don’t want to talk to anyone.
If we feel and look happy with a big smile on our faces, other people will be drawn to us and want to engage in conversation with us. This may be common sense for us adults but some children may not understand that their peers interact with them in different ways according to their mood. Children aren’t very good at hiding their feelings, however parents can teach them about controlling feelings to help them channel their negative feelings into something more positive.
Learning How to Control Feelings To Improve Interactions
As with most things, talking to your children about feelings and possible solutions to any issues is the best way to approach this area and help your child take back some control. For example, when they wake up in a grumpy mood, teach them that they don’t have to stay grumpy all day. They could talk about their worries and move themselves into a better frame of mind. Here’s how:
Identify Why They Are Grumpy As A Starting Point
Are they apprehensive about something or just tired? Knowing the trigger for their bad mood is the first step in doing something about it.
Talk About How To Lift Their Mood
Talking and acknowledging the fact you’re in a bad mood can help to lift it. Admitting you’re not feeling so good, and looking for ways to improve it, is a great life skill. What could cheer them up and lift their mood? A special meal or treat, thinking of happier days, watching something funny, or maybe a quick burst of exercise?
How Do They Want To Be Seen By Their Peers?
Nobody wants to be seen as difficult, moody or angry, so what sort of personality does your child want to present to their peers? Friendly, approachable and good fun? Perhaps they want to show a serious side too? They want to be seen as authentic so that people feel they are genuine and trustworthy.
If they can’t control their feelings, people may make their mind up about them and their personality based on their moods. Get children to think about the ‘vibe’ they want to present and give out to people. Increase their awareness of their ability to control negative feelings and turn them into positive ones.
Controlling feelings can be difficult but is an important life skill.
Get More Parenting Help
For more help with parenting and raising children see my book, The Parent’s Toolkit. You can also sign up to receive my top 25 parenting tips for positive change.
Read more blog posts about children & their feelings
[Published January 2021 | Updated May 2024]
