Children may never know what is going on in their friend’s minds and why they behave in the way that they do unless their friends explain. This is unlikely unless their friends are incredibly open and have no qualms about sharing every feeling, every thought, and everything that is happening to them. Unless friends are an open book, children never fully understand the reasons behind their actions. With this in mind, your child needs to be careful how they interpret their friend’s actions. For example, some children will be disappointed about cancelled plans as rejection. But often, they are not!
Don’t Feel Rejected!
A child’s commitment to plans may change at the very last minute for many reasons. For example;
it may be due to their parents wanting them to do something else
they may have forgot they had a previous plan
their circumstances have changed and they have to study or help at home
Sometimes it is their friend’s fault for cancelling plans, sometimes not. Either way, their friend may also be upset they have had to cancel.
Find Alternative Plans
Explain to your children that this is how life is, this is how people are, and not to see it as rejection. Things happen and plans change. When their friends cancel, they should learn to ask; ‘When can we reschedule?’, and ‘When are you free again?’. This shouldn’t be in a demanding way but a casual way. They must not let their cancelled plans affect their friendship (unless of course, this is happening on a regular basis and they have had enough). They should accept the change, find something else to do with their (now) free time, and move on with the friendship. And definitely not take it as rejection.
Children benefit a great deal with friendship issues and understanding how friendships work. If you think coaching could help your child in this area feel free to give me a call on 07961312749.
