It is very easy as parents to tell your child off and show them that you disapprove of something they have done, and to tell them that we are disappointed in them and that they have let us down. In the heat of the moment, whether frustrated or angry us parents don’t often choose our words well in sharing our disappointment. What we really need to do is consider whether the words we use are helpful or can improve the situation? Will they make our children feel good about themselves or will they feel that they are no longer accepted by us?
Words are powerful and so when your children come to you because they have done something wrong, you must be careful what you say and how you say it. Discussing disappointing behaviour in the right way will help in your relationship with your child.
Discussing Disappointing Behaviour In The Best Way
First of all you need to be clear that you are not disappointed in your child as a person. You are disappointed by the choice they made and of their behaviour.
You need to fully understand the situation and make sure your child does too. Do they know what they did? Do they know why they did it? Are they aware of the consequences? How can they make the situation better? What would they do next time this happens to control their behaviour?
Through discussion your child should gain clarity and have a feeling of what they need to do to put the situation right. Speak to them in a calm voice and show that you are not judging them. Your child will not get everything they do right and will make mistakes. They will need guidance from parents though and I think it is important that you share with them that their behaviour has no reflection on how you feel about them. Reprimand them if you feel it is the right thing to do in order for them to never do it again.
Your children will disappoint you sometimes but with love, support and guidance they will still feel part of the family and become stronger through these experiences.
Resources to Help Parent’s Deal with Children’s Behaviour
For more parenting ideas how to approach situations please have a read of ‘The Parent’s Toolkit’
Read more blogs on children and behaviour:
Raising Kind Children and Discouraging Mean Behaviour
Alternatively if you are struggling and feel like you need some outside help please do give me a call on 07961312749. I offer life coaching services for children so they can learn to deal with life’s problems independently.
You can also sign up for my Top 25 Parenting Tips for Positive Change
[Published October 2022 | Updated October 2025]
