Boy looking sad at school

When my children were younger I used to ask them about their day and they would say it was fine. I’d ask them what they did and they often said they couldn’t remember. I did not expect anything more or anything less as they were small.

As they have got older they have shared their day with me in a more honest way. They tell me what went right and what wasn’t great about it (as well as things they probably shouldn’t have told me!) and I have been thankful that they have been honest and real.

Not all children are honest about their day or feel that they can be. They tell their parents that it was fine when really it wasnt and they had a rubbish day. Are they telling their parents what they want to hear to avoid questions? Or are they trying to pretend that they had a good day? If they say it was good, therefore they’ll believe it wasn’t so bad?  Or maybe they don’t want their parents to ask too many questions – children may you aren’t really listening/interested or will criticise them in some way.

3 Questions to Ask Children About Their Day

I do think that parents need to encourage our children to tell us how their day really was. It can be hard getting children to open up, so we need to learn how to ask the right sort of questions to get a proper answer. Ask specific questions that can’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or another one word response like ‘fine’.

  1. What good things happened today?
  2. What did not go so well?
  3. If they seem unhappy, ask what made them feel that way?

It can also help to talk about your own day and tell them about something funny that happened, or how you solve a problem.  It will help start a conversation and show children that everyone has bad days or has to deal with problems sometimes. It’s also important to talk about the fun and positive things that happen as it then makes it easier to talk about negative things too.

If we don’t know what’s bothering our children then how can we help them with their struggles? They need to be able to offload to someone, even if that’s just listening to them. Communicate to them that you are always there to listen so they dont have to hide what happened during their day.