parent and child holding hands

Year seven is a huge year for children as they have to get to grips with taking so much more responsibility for themselves, their belongings and their life. Some children are like a duck to water to secondary school life and are able to arrange all their social plans. For many others, some hand-holding is needed with their year seven friendships. Not all children find it easy to make plans, stick to plans they have made or remember they actually made them! And I think parents need to play a part in helping them.

Helping Children With Year Seven Friendships

  • If your child is finding it hard to make plans suggest to them that they create a group on social media and include people they spend time with at school. Then suggest a date they could meet up and an idea of what they could do – perhaps go to Costa on a Friday. Once they have a few positive responses, get them to confirm that this is happening and that you can all meet up in a certain place and go together. Alternatively suggest they invite one friend over after school or at the weekend.
  • If your child feels they are being constantly knocked back by one or two children suggest they make plans with other children. Get them to understand that other people are not as organised, may find it hard to commit or don’t want to get together. All of these are okay. Not all of their friends will have been brought up in the same way as them.
  • If your child finds they are being let down by friends socially make them aware of why this may be happening. Perhaps their friends parents are not helping them with their social life and do not know what to do when a friend suggests they get together and they already have plans. Perhaps when your child made the arrangement with them they did not write it down and then made another plan? Unfortunately, your child needs to learn to live with this type of disappointment.
  • Finally, teach your child that if they say they are going to do something that they keep the arrangement. They should not let others down because a better offer came up.

Children do need their hand holding and knowing what to do when faced with social life challenges. It is very frustrating when other children are not responsive or as organised. It is our job to help them the value of why they need friendships and understand how friendships work. We have to remember that they are only 12 years old and these skills are slowly being learnt.

Secondary School Transition eBook

ebooks on Secondary School Transition and Building Succesful Friendships

Download and get instant access to my ebooks which are full of advice for parents to help their children deal with this big life change. Get ideas that will allow your child to feel more confident and positive, creating a smoother transition between primary and secondary school. Learn more about the ebooks, Helping Your Child Through Secondary School Transition and 50 Ways for your Child to Have Successful Friendships.  



For more information on friendships and areas children may find difficult please see my book on ‘Being Me (And Loving It)