When the world feels that it has turned against you and you fall out with friends, or when life feels challenging and difficult, you have to be able to see that there is a way forward and have hope that life will get better. Determination and being able to feel optimistic when things are not so great is a life skill and children need to learn it. They need to be able to see through the darkness and look for the light, to see the good things that are going well in their life and to focus on the positives as well as have the ability to look for opportunities that are there, even if they can’t quite see them yet. When a child feels down it could be that it is because they don’t have healthy friendships.  I find that friendships play a huge part in their happiness and every child needs to have healthy friendships.


In my coaching work, many children will relay to me that it is their friendships that are making them unhappy. Their friends may have turned their backs on them and so they have no-one to talk to, they find that their friends are rude and don’t want to be around them or they just can’t find the right friends who they really connect with, and they feel lonely. These children need to look for the light and see the positives in the situation:

  • Who else is there that they can engage with?
  • Is there anyone else who is on their own?
  • Is there someone they have never talked to or played with but seems kind?
  • Who can they start chatting with and when would that be?

Not every child is going to shun your child. And just because they fall out with one friend, it doesn’t mean they won’t make new friends. Falling out with friends can be tough but, by building up your child’s confidence and getting them to see they have a lot to offer, they realise that they can do this. Nobody needs the kind of friends who turn their back on them. But they do need a friend or two, so they need to look at it as an opportunity to make new and better friends.

If you would like more information on friendships then check out my ebook on friendships.