We want our children be independent and not rely on us so much as they get older. Some of us can find this difficult to do as we like to control situations and do things for our children – as it can be quicker and easier for us parents. This, however, does not help their personal growth and they will rely on us for much longer than they should. Whilst we do everything for them it will not teach them about responsibility and how to do things for themselves. We are hindering their growth.
We need to think about the future and what they are going to need to do for themselves. They will need to organise their own social life, clear their socks off their bedroom floor and make their own snacks when they come home from school. Now think about what you can do to make this a reality.
Help Them Be Independent Using These Ideas
- Don’t jump in when they are trying to figure something out. Perhaps they are struggling with putting a plate in the dishwasher or making their bed. Let them keep trying so they figure out the best approach that is acceptable to you both.
- When they are trying something new (or something they have not yet mastered), watch over them and encourage them to keep trying. Don’t direct them unless they want you too. Give them encouragement and get them to see it takes time to master a new skill.
- Wait for them to ask for your help rather than offering it. They may have it sussed or feel they need a bit more time.
- Use positive language when they make their own plans or do something well that did not need you.
- Say yes more if the request is agreeable.
What else would you add? Personal growth and children evolving is progressive and builds independence. Part of being independent though is using your gut and trusting people you may know well or may not know at all. There are many different types of stranger and they need to be aware of them all.
If you would like some help with developing independence in your child please get in touch to find out how coaching can help.
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