When things are not going so well a parents natural instinct is to protect children and make the bad situation go away. They want to cuddle and be able to reassure them that things will get better or they want to fix it for them. Intervene and resolve the problem. I don’t think either of these two solutions are good for the child. We should instead be helping children with their problems even though we hate to see our children hurt or upset. We cannot always protect them from the rough seas of life and children need to be able to handle the storms. There will be some problems that are pretty minor problems. For those that really need thinking about and need more attention use the strategies below.
Helping Children With Problem-Solving
- Give them the space and time to talk to us about the issues they are facing and just listen to them. This can include sharing their thoughts and feelings about the situation they find themselves in.
- Help them process their feelings and get them to think of alternative ways to see the situation. How else could they feel?
- Help them to explore solutions to their problems. It is always a good idea to see what your child comes up with in terms of their own solutions rather than you giving directive advice that may not work.
- Share stories of when we have faced tough times and how we survived. What did we do differently or how did we protect ourselves from getting hurt?
- We need to show our concern for what they are going through but make sure we don’t take on their problems. We can guide and help, support and emotionally help them heal. We have to remain objective and keep perspective so that we can help them in the best way we can.
- Finally, we can help them feel loved, safe and secure and make home feel like a good place to be.
How have you taught your children to protect themselves from whatever life throws at them? Or do you need help in doing so? Please get in touch with me if you do.
