How can parents help teens to trust themselves? It’s one of the most important skills young people can learn.
They need to trust who they are, learn how to trust people around them and they need to trust that the decisions they make are the right ones for them. It is not easy to do any of these things. They have to learn through experience as they move through the teenage years.
Trusting themselves means they can say, ‘I know what’s right for me,’ even when there’s noise around them from friends, social media, pressure and expectations. When they trust themselves, they’re more likely to take healthy risks, ask for help when they need it and walk away from situations that don’t feel right. If they don’t trust their own judgment, then friendships can go wrong, they can end up in situations they don’t want to be in and they struggle to make decisions. And if teenagers can’t make decisions easily, they aren’t building confidence in themselves.
5 Ways to Help Your Teen Build Self-Confidence
1. Let them make real decisions
Not the ‘What do you want for dinner?‘ kind but choices with actual consequences, like where to put their savings or the GCSEs they want to pick. Parents can be tempted to take over decision-making, but resist it to help your child grow.
2. Celebrate their judgment, not just the outcomes
If they make a thoughtful choice, praise them – even if it doesn’t work out. Saying something along the lines of, ‘I like how you thought through that‘ then pointing out the positives, goes a long way toward boosting confidence. This will help your teen trust themselves and how they deal with situations.
3. Encourage them to check in with themselves
Teenagers often look outward for answers, but they need to be encouraged to ask themselves, ‘What do I think/feel?‘ Small moments of self-reflection add up.
4. Role model trusting yourself
Parents can show teens how to deal with decision-making. Say out loud when you’re following your own instincts or learning from your own mistakes. Teenagers absorb more from what you demonstrate than what you lecture.
5. Make them feel safe
Make sure that they know that even if they make a decision that doesn’t’ work out, that you as their parents, are always there for them. Don’t make them feel worried that you’ll be angry or disappointed in their decisions.
Does your young person trust themselves? If not, what is standing in their way? Self-trust and confidence comes more easily to some teenagers than others, and some kids just worry more naturally. But, as parents, we can always take steps to help them build the life skills needed to trust in their own decision-making.
Get Help & Support: Building a Teen’s Self-Assurance
As a life coach for children and teenagers, I work one-to-one with them to build that confidence.
