How I see my friends is not going to be the same way that my friends see me and each other. We all have a different lens that we view people with, and part of that will be set in what we believe and our values.
What one person may find annoying another person may find endearing. What one person finds funny another will find irritating. This is how life is and so it is important to understand that adults and children perceive others differently and each individual’s perspective is going to be shaped by their unique experiences, preferences, and interactions.
It is a fundamental aspect of social development, especially for children, and so a child’s perception of their friend may vastly differ from an adult’s or another child’s viewpoint. It’s not wrong to have those different thoughts about someone, they just see something different. For example, a child might perceive their classmate as friendly and fun to be around, while another child finds them uninteresting. This disparity in perception can lead to varying degrees of compatibility among peers. While one child may enjoy spending time with a particular friend, another might not want to be around them.
It’s Not Just How Children Perceive Others
Similarly, teachers and parents also have their own lenses through which they view a child. A teacher may observe how that student is doing in class and how they are behaving and will form an opinion about that child. They will see them in a certain way. A parent’s perspective of that child – their child – is going to be influenced by their role in nurturing them and possibly what they want to see.
Another example, and something that children need to grasp, is that a teacher will see that child differently from them. A teacher might see a child as well-behaved and polite and would do no harm to anyone. Yet in the playground, they are rude and unfriendly. A child cannot convince the teacher to see what they see and however frustrating that is, little can be done. Recognising and respecting different perspectives is crucial for fostering acceptance and healthy relationships among children. By understanding that everyone sees others through their own lens, children can navigate social dynamics with greater understanding and compassion.
Help for Parents
For help with any difficulties your child may have with friendships and perception please get in touch or read more about me and life coaching for children.
If you are interested in reading more about helping your child with other areas of their life take a look at my book, The Parent’s Toolkit.
