We all have problems and challenges that we struggle with. Sometimes we have big problems that just seem so overwhelming and take a long time to work through. Other times we have problems that take us a few minutes to resolve. Nobody can completely avoid problems, but as adults, we usually know how to solve a problem successfully; children need to learn.
In my life coaching sessions for children, I teach them how, because often they can think of only one way to solve a problem. They just want it to go away on its own without having to do anything about it; children aren’t always patient enough to work through the problem, or they don’t know how to solve it. And when a problem sits in their head for too long, it can make children feel it is way bigger than it really is.
So, how can parents and adults help children deal with problems so this does not happen? We need to encourage them to learn how to work through problems, challenges and conflicts themselves.
Dealing with Life’s Problems & Challenges
1. Write the Problem Down
It sounds almost too easy, but it actually works. When everything stays in your mind, it’s difficult to think clearly. But the minute you write the issue down on paper, it stops being a blurry cloud and turns into something you can actually look at, helping children understand exactly what the problem is.
The next step is to have them jot down possible solutions. They don’t have to be perfect, brilliant ideas—just ideas. The more ideas, the better, but the important part is that your child can see that they have more than one option. Seeing different possibilities in front of them makes it easier for them to choose what to do next.
2. Talk the Issue Out
Encourage children to talk to someone they trust—you, a friend, a teacher or a family member. It can help them untangle their thoughts. Saying things out loud forces their brain to slow down and think clearly. Sometimes the person listening to them won’t even need to give them advice. Just by talking about the problem and hearing their words can help them see how to solve it.
They could also write it out. Both writing and talking help take the problem out of their head, where it feels heavy, and put it somewhere they can actually deal with it. That alone can make a huge difference. The key thing to remember is they don’t have to keep everything bottled up in their mind. Problems get easier when they’re shared either on paper or with a person.
Why not get your child to try either of these out if they aren’t natural problem solvers and need a hand gaining these skills? Let me know how you get on in the comments.
Need More Help or Parenting Support?
All of the work I do in my life coaching practice involves helping children and young people solve problems.
If you think your child could use some help, please contact me to learn more.
