Let’s face it, we all have nerves sometimes. They are not something we can escape from, and children certainly will feel nervous at some stage – it’s a part of growing up. Whether your child is in primary or secondary school, nervousness in children can appear for many reasons.
- When they start a new school year
- Get a new teacher
- When their friendships are a bit tricky
- They have tests or exams coming up
- Some children get nervous just walking into the canteen!
But here’s the thing – nervousness can look different in children than it does in adults. You might not hear them say ‘I’m feeling anxious today,’ but you may hear about a tummy-ache before school, or see tears before bedtime. Sometimes a child will be unusually quiet because they have things on their mind and they are worried or nervous. I bet this sounds familiar.
Nervousness In Children And How To Help
So, what are children nervous about? Often it’s social stuff—fitting in, being liked or not messing up in front of others. This is certainly true for pre-teens and teenagers. For other children, it’s academic pressure or the fear of not doing well. Even small things like getting a question wrong in class or forgetting their PE kit can feel huge to them.
So, How Can Parents Help?
- First, notice the signs. Has your child become more clingy, irritable or unusually quiet? Are they avoiding school or certain activities? Trust your gut, and if something feels off, it probably is.
- Next, talk. Ask your child open questions like, ‘What’s been on your mind lately?’ or ‘Is there anything at school that feels a bit tricky?’. Create space for them to talk without rushing in with a solution.
What Else Can Parents Do?
Give your child routine and reassurance. Knowing what’s coming can help reduce anxiety. Talk about the future hour/day/week. A calm morning routine, a chat on the drive to school or a simple ‘You’ve got this’ can also help.
Teach them calming tools. Deep breaths, grounding techniques or even a fidget toy in their pocket can help them manage their nerves on their own.
Praise effort, not just outcomes. Let them know it’s okay not to be perfect and celebrate the trying, not just the winning.
Most of all, remind them (and yourself) that nerves are normal. With a little support, your child will learn to manage them—and that’s a skill they’ll use for life.
Does your child need help to conquer their nerves and become more confident? Consider booking a session of life-coaching with me,
