Are You Really Spending Quality Time with Your Children?

As parents, we often think we are spending quality time with our children. We’re ferrying them to swimming lessons, being in the same room with them whilst they are doing their homework, getting them ready for school or watching them take part in sports. However, it’s not always quite the quality time that children are looking for.

I know this because in around 95% of my coaching sessions with children, one thing comes up time and time again, and that’s a child saying to me, ‘I just want more time with Mum or Dad.’ They don’t want big gestures  – they just want their parents’ time. That may be a trip to the park, having a hot chocolate in a cafe, playing a board game, kicking a ball in the garden, or even just snuggling up to watch something silly on TV.

The truth is, being physically there is not the same as being mentally present.

Our children are telling us — sometimes loudly, sometimes quietly and possibly through behaviour that we don’t want – that they miss us. They don’t want the stressed-out, multitasking version of us, but a mum or dad that has time for them and wants to engage in a shared activity without any other distractions. They want the fun, relaxed and ready-to-play version of their parent.

The Benefits of Quality Parental Time

Your kids aren’t looking for hours of mum or dad’s time, but focused quality time. Just 15–30 minutes can make a big difference to children, and it’s not only for their benefit. Because when a parent spends one-on-one time with their child, they will:

1. Build a Stronger Connection: Shared moments build trust, love and open communication. It reminds your child that they matter, even in a busy world.

2. Have Happier Children: Quality time will boost your child’s confidence and reduce their anxiety.

3. Promote Positive Behaviour:  Children who feel seen and heard are less likely to act out. You’ll often notice fewer tantrums and more cooperation when they feel genuinely connected to you.

So next time they ask, ‘Will you play with me?’ try not to say, ‘Maybe later.’ Instead, put the phone down, close the laptop, and go make a memory. Playing a board game or walking in the park would mean the world to them. Our children are young for a limited time, so try to make the most of it!