We all carry an inner voice that shapes how we see and feel about ourselves. Sometimes that voice builds us up and sometimes it quietly knocks us down.
Most adults learn how to manage that voice over time, but it is not as easy for children. The way they talk to themselves can have a powerful impact on how they feel, behave and grow in confidence. After all, they are still learning about the world and other people.
Children with lower self-esteem may tell themselves things like, ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘I’m not clever,’ or ‘No-one likes me, ‘ and children with higher self-esteem use more encouraging thoughts such as, ‘I can do this,’ ‘I’m capable,’ or ‘I’m a good friend.‘ They both have inner voices, yet one is more positive than the other.
Positive affirmations can make a real difference to children. They help them to challenge unhelpful thoughts and build a more balanced, kinder view of themselves. Over time, this can give them the confidence to try new things, build a positive mindset, cope with setbacks and feel more secure in who they are.
Three Phrases to Help Children Notice the Positive
Children who struggle with confidence need gentle encouragement to notice the positives in their lives. Learning to be grateful for what you already have can help to build positivity. For example,
“I am a good person because…“ It could be that they have helped a friend, shown empathy or been thoughtful. Encourage them to say these out loud and really own them.
“I have people who care about me…“ How do they know that these people care about them? What have they done for them and how do they treat them?
I may not be good at everything, but I am good at… they can dig deep and focus on their strengths, whether that’s creativity, sport, problem-solving or being a great listener. It does not have to be anything outstanding but something they bring to the table for themselves or others.
Practice Positivity Daily
Practising affirmations daily, even for a minute or two, can slowly reshape how children see themselves and their inner voice becomes less critical.
You might also try using a chart like the “WOW Board” at home, where achievements and positive moments are shared and celebrated. Children can write down what was ‘great’ and ‘ok’ about their day, so they can see that lots of positive things happen to them!
“Using the WOW board has really boosted the way my son feels about life. He can see that good things happen to him” James’s dad, London
Learn more about the Wow Board, what parents think and how to buy one.
