As the new school year starts after the long summer holiday, going back to school can feel a bit worrying for some children, especially those returning to secondary school. Time apart over the holidays can leave some teens feeling unsure about where they stand with their friends.
Maybe they kept in touch with friends over the break. Maybe they didn’t. Either way, it’s completely normal for them to feel a bit nervous about seeing everyone again. They might be wondering if things have changed, if friendships will feel the same, or even if they’ll fit back into their usual group. The reality? Most teenagers are thinking exactly the same thing!
Helping Tweens & Teens to Build Friendships
If your child is feeling this way, one of the most helpful things parents can do is create space for a proper conversation. Teenagers might not always open up straight away, but a casual chat, on a car journey or while doing something low-key, can make it easier. If they do share worries, take them seriously. Avoid brushing them off, and instead help them challenge those thoughts. Remind them of the friendships they’ve built and what they have in common with their friends. A few weeks apart doesn’t undo that.
It’s also worth pointing out that not everyone stays in constant contact over the holidays. For many teens, it’s completely normal to drift a little and then reconnect quickly once they’re back in the same environment.
If possible, suggest something low-pressure before term starts, like messaging them and catching up on WhatsApp/text, meeting up with a friend for a coffee, a walk, or even just hanging out. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it can take the edge off that ‘first day back’ feeling.
Once school begins, encouraging your teen to invite someone round or make plans after school can also help rebuild that sense of connection.
Remind them they don’t need to overthink it. Being themselves is enough. Friendships at this age can feel intense, but they’re often more resilient than they seem and chances are, things will fall back into place quicker than they expect.
What advice would you give your teen to help them feel more confident returning to school?
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