Reinvention is sometimes needed. Usually, when things go a bit wrong you realise that you have to change something about yourself, or something you are doing, to get things back on track. For example, when it comes to children’s friendships, reinvention of your child’s behaviour may be needed to recover from a fallout.
Your child may have upset someone by saying something without thinking or being thoughtless towards them. They could have told a lie that affects their peers and their lives, so these actions will affect how others feel about them. When they do or say something that has repercussions it will affect their friendship. They will regret what they’ve done and want to take back those words or those actions. They will want those children to forget it happened and go back to how life was.
Actions and Attitude to Help Children To Reinvent Themselves
If your child needs to change to retain a friendship, talk to them about what they can do to redeem themselves. There are two things they can do:
- They can apologise and hope their friend saw that a mistake was made. Their friend might say they forgive them but the trust may not be as strong as before. They may be cautious of what they say and how they interact with your child going forward.
- Your child can choose to completely reinvent themselves. By that I mean they start to change their attitude – choosing their words more carefully and being kinder in their interactions with friends. They can show that they can be a good friend, that they are sorry, and are no longer the same person. As part of their reinvention, their friends get to see a different side to them. A softer, more caring side. The authentic person they are.
I have seen several children in my life coaching practice where reinvention has been needed. The child who made the mistake was able to keep with that friendship group due to the changes they made – that commitment to their reinvention. If they value their friends and can admit to making a mistake, reinvention is highly recommended and does work.
Need More Parenting Help with Friendships?
If you feel your child could benefit from some help with friendships in any way please do get in touch with me to discover how life coaching for children can help.
