What can children do when they find themselves in a situation that they aren’t particularly happy in? Perhaps somebody has been mean to them, they feel that something has been unfair, or they have been blamed for something they did not do.
Naturally, they want to say something to stand up for themselves, correct the situation and address the issue. But what could they say and how would they say it so they can put their point across, but not from a place of anger or frustration?
How to Deal with Difficult Situations
It is important that children never come from a place of anger but remain calm. They need to calm down first, so it puts them in a more rational frame of mind otherwise, they may say something that they will later regret. They could calm down by walking away and taking some deep breaths before they work out what they are going say, or they could find a friend to chat through the situation. Doing something different and not staying in the situation will help them cool off and hopefully enable them to reflect.
So what should children say once they return to the person they were angry or upset with? Whatever they say, they need to be specific about the behaviour they want to stop rather than being vague and they need to think about the types of words they are going to use. They also need to tell the other person what they want instead. This will work in many situations, but not with a bully. (Humour and short statements need to be used with them where the bully can’t respond.)
The words need to be assertive but kind, respectful and polite. Children need the other person to know that they mean what they say and own their words. The recipient will then take them seriously and hopefully won’t do or say the mean thing again.
The Benefits To Remain Calm
Finally, children need to be aware of how the other person may respond. If the other person raises their voice, your child needs to keep theirs lower and calm. Being calm in situations shows self-composure, strength of character and a feeling of control. If the other person continues to be mean, then the child needs to diarise what is said and when, just in case they need to speak to a teacher about ongoing nastiness.
