Gosh, how many children do I know that are in the habit of speaking without thinking? Mmm, there are many. They are bursting to say something but when they do it offends someone or it is inappropriate in some way. It may be racist, anti-semitic, offensive or just a silly comment that adds nothing to the conversation. I call this ‘impulse speaking’. Speaking without thinking the words through first. Many children do it because they just do not think of the consequences of their words.
What we say is so important. People base their opinions on others from what they say and how they say it. People will warm to children if they are thoughtful and sympathetic. They won’t if they are self-centered and don’t care about others. Words can get children into trouble and they can show the very worst of that person.
Steps To Stop Speaking Without Thinking
So, how can we help these children so that they can add value to any conversation and show themselves off in the best possible light? Well, we can teach them to consider the following when speaking to others:
- Have I got anything I want to say?
- What do I want to say?
- Is it going to hurt someone?
- Is it a silly comment?
- Once they have thought this through then they can decide if they are going to say it or not.
They will soon know if they have said something silly or wrong by the look on the face of the person they are speaking too. If they get a bad reaction, can they identify what they said wrong? If they can, it will help avoid the same mistake in future. Talk to your children about their conversation skills and help them to become better at thinking about what they are saying if they are quite outspoken.
There are more tips and ideas in my first book, The Parents Toolkit. Alternatively, please do get in touch with me.
