2 young girls talking on the street

No one likes a bossy boots. Being bossy does not bring you friends. It is always best to make a suggestion rather than dictate what you want others to do. It gives others a chance to think about what you have suggested so that they can make an informed decision themselves.

When you tell someone what to do they have no choice and will resent you ‘taking control’. This is especially relevant when your child is at secondary school. Once your child gets to 11 or 12 they want to be in control more and make decisions on their own. They want to feel empowered, so use suggestion to get them to channel this desire in a healthy way.

How to Use Suggestion

If your child is being bossy encourage them instead to make a suggestion or present an idea to their peers. They will get a better reception and reaction from their friends and nobody will feel controlled.

If your child is being bossed around by their friends, get them to stand up for themselves and say what they want to do/need instead. If they are brave enough they can ask their friend to not boss them around as they would rather be asked instead.

Communication is super important. Without good communication and niceties children can lose friends. They may be avoided and left out by others. Being less bossy can help that.  Parents should help their children learn about the use of suggestion – it’s a good life skill to have and will lead to better friendships and relationships.