Puberty is a time of significant change for children and, for girls especially, it can affect their friendships. As hormones begin to take effect, the way girls interact with their friends can change. This can be particularly noticeable around Year 6. Friendships are tricky at the best of times but as changes are a natural part of growing up, we need to help girls be more aware of how both their, and their friends, emotions may influence their friendships.
The rush of hormones can create mood swings and emotional sensitivity and as a result, girls may find themselves drifting apart from old friends or feeling uncertain about who they connect with. There may be lots of heightened emotions, jealousy or confusion in their relationships and that will cause strained friendships. They may not want to go to school as they don’t feel as secure as they did before around their friends.
We want our daughters to understand what is happening and when they experience tricky friendships during puberty it doesn’t necessarily mean their friendship/s is over—it just means the friendship dynamics are changing.
Friendships During Puberty Can Be Managed
Girls can help manage these changes by keeping open communication with their friends. They can do this by expressing their feelings calmly and take responsibility for their emotions without letting them dictate how they behave and how they communicate. They should make an effort to be empathetic toward their friends, understanding that they too are experiencing changes. Parents can also help.
Three Ways Parents Can Help
Encourage open conversations
Parents should create a safe space for girls to talk about the challenges they face with their friends. They should listen without judgment and validate their feelings. Sometimes, simply knowing they are heard can help girls cope with the emotional ups and downs that come with puberty.
Teach healthy communication skills
Parents can equip girls with the tools for handling conflicts, such as calm conversations, active listening and problem-solving. By teaching these skills, parents can help girls navigate disagreements and misunderstandings without resorting to drama or hurt feelings.
Promote self-confidence
Puberty can make girls feel insecure and they may worry about their friendships if they’re unsure of themselves. Parents can boost their self-esteem by talking about their unique qualities, showing them they have the values of a good friend and encouraging them to be kind and authentic in their relationships.
By guiding girls through the changes that come with puberty, parents can help them form lasting, healthy friendships that adapt as they grow.
If your daughter needs some extra support dealing with friendships, a life coaching session could help. Contact me to find out more.
