One girl cuddling another girls who looks uncomfortable


“How can I get them to like me? Why aren’t they my friend?” Has your child ever said these words? It isn’t nice to explain that another child doesn’t want to be their friend, despite projecting attention onto them and it not being reciprocated. It can hurt your child’s feelings and their self-esteem. Your child might think, “Why don’t they want to my friend and what does that say about me?” Your child can’t understand why someone is not being nice to them and may even try harder with them. Understanding friendships and the way others are will teach them about different personality types and putting boundaries around friendships.

Parents need to treat the issue delicately when discuss this with their child. Help them see that they have other friends and that it’s no big deal if the friend doesn’t want to play with them. There is usually a reason – maybe they have other friends that they have more in common with. Or maybe they like to play a particular way and it is not the same way your child likes to play. Perhaps they don’t find your child fun or easy to be around or may just not share common interests.  It may be simply that they aren’t looking for any new friends.

Understanding Friendships And Friends

These tips could help your child with this issue..

  • Show your child who they have in their own life and to be happy with the friends they do have, rather than those they don’t have.
  • Help them to be friendly towards this child but not over-friendly
  • Teach them not to appear desperate. No begging to play with that child or people pleasing them.
  • Help shift their focus away to other friends and activities.
  • Teach your child to recognise being taken advantage of and if it is, encourage them to walk away.

Friendships can be difficult as children grow so parents can help by guiding them through. Has your child ever wanted to be friends with someone who isn’t very interested? How did you deal with it? I’d love to hear from you – just pop a comment under my blog or social media channels.