Unsolicited Advice - childrenWe tend to interfere is our children’s lives and give them unsolicited advice that is not always asked for, or the right advice that is going to help them with a problem. We do this because we think we know what is best for them. However this is not always true. How do we know what is best for our children when it comes to their friendships and all that happens at school? They know their friends better than we do. They know what they will respond best to, what makes them tick, what makes them angry and what makes them happy. We don’t as we are not there. We don’t really know the dynamics of our children’s friendships.

Stop Giving Unsolicited Advice

Your child may also see the situation as being very different to how you would as a parent and what is often a big deal to them would be a minor issue for you. You may have chosen to just ignore a flippant comment whereas your child does not feel they are able to and wants to stand up for themselves.

So can we really give them advice? All that we can do is listen…..to everything they say and discuss their problem with them if they want our help. And if they don’t, continue to listen and show empathy. I find many children just want the problem to go away and want us to solve it but at the same time they don’t want to listen to us. It is catch 22. Before you  go about solving their problem ask them what they want to do so they can find the answers themselves and take their own advice. It might be better for them to reach their own conclusions. What do you think?

 

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