Teenage girl and mum

Children are developing their own identities throughout their teenage years. At times they may lack confidence or worry about the way they look. They may find friendships a little trickier and have unfamiliar feelings and thoughts that they never had before, but have to learn to manage. They are trying to work out where they fit into their world and will want more privacy from parents and younger siblings. This can be why they may spend more time in their bedroom or the bathroom. Not being so engaged with their family should not be seen as rejection – they just need to figure life out. It can be hard trying to figure out, ‘What does my teenager want?’ when there is so many different changes going on for them – physically and emotionally.

What Does My Teenager Want From Me?

The same goes for when teens express opinions and thoughts that are so far away from how you, their parents, think. They may say things that don’t align with their values because they want to be different from them and show them that they have their own unique identity. And when they are being argumentative or asserting themselves, this is because they want to be heard. So, let’s listen to them more and try and understand why they see the world that way, and respect their thoughts.

Teens have always been the same to some extent but the world is very different from the one many parents grew up in. What doesn’t change is that, as teens, we…

  • wanted space.
  • wanted to stay out later with our friends.
  • hid away in our bedrooms wanting privacy.
  • fought with our parents.

And your teenage child wants exactly the same thing! Don’t feel upset or sad – it’s a natural life phase that most of us experience. Love and support go a long way. Underneath it all, remember your child still needs you. They care a lot about what their parents think, even if they don’t show or express it. Be patient, be there to talk when they need it, and remember what it was like to be a teenager! Think to yourself what am I doing and giving my teen at the moment – is it what they want and really what does my teenager want from me at this moment?