It is so easy to fall into the trap of letting children dictate aspects of their routine, like when they eat, have screen time or go to bed. Or parents are letting them make decisions that they just aren’t old enough (or ready) to make.
This is happening in some families and it makes me wonder who is parenting whom and setting the boundaries? The reason it happens is that parents think that they are helping their children be more independent, or they are responding to their emotional needs. However, taking a stand and showing them that everyone needs to have some kind of structure and boundaries would be preferable.
Let’s take the example of bedtime. A parent might allow a child to stay up late because they enjoy reading. On the surface, it sounds like a great idea – they are doing something they love and it’s productive and educational. But if the child is not getting enough sleep and is struggling through the next day, there’s too much reading going on at bedtime.
Similarly, when a child skips breakfast for an extra half hour of sleep, is it a good trade-off? We know children need to eat breakfast to be able to focus and learn.
Set Boundaries for Well-Being
Children need structure and that comes from the boundaries we set as adults. These boundaries are not about control, but care. They communicate that parents are thinking ahead and making decisions based on what our children needs, not just what they want. Children often don’t have the maturity or perspective to understand what’s best for their health, development, or emotional well-being—and that’s okay. That’s our job.
So what does your child’s day look like?
- Are they getting enough sleep?
- Eating a balanced diet?
- Having time to play and unwind?
- Are they spending hours on screens?
- Doing things that drain rather than nourish them?
When you think about these questions honestly, you will see how perhaps the structure/rules have slipped and they need to be regained. Parenting with purpose means sometimes making unpopular decisions but, in doing so, parents can give their children the structure and security they need.
Boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re the framework within which our children grow strong, balanced, and confident.
More Advice on Parenting
Links to more resources to help you parent your child positively.
