They are children who aren’t shy but they don’t have a lot to say. They provide one words answers and when you ask them what they are thinking or how they feel about something, you normally get ‘I am not sure’ or ‘I don’t know’. It can be difficult to get a conversation going with these type of children and yet they need to be able to hold a conversation.
Getting them to talk can be frustrating and I feel that the people who are most frustrated are the teachers or the parents. Not the children themselves.
Why Aren’t These Kids Talking?
These children don’t necessarily have low self-esteem. They have friends and say they are happy. What worries me as s a kids coach, is that they are not putting themselves out there. They are not making decisions, taking a risk to share what they want and need from others, or sharing who they are.
They may be playing it safe by not voicing an opinion because they don’t want to upset anyone. It may be that they have not had much encouragement to talk about their thoughts or feelings or maybe they really don’t know what they want. They may feel really uncomfortable too.
We need to help these children by getting them to open up. One suggestion is to ask them to share 3 things about their day and how it made you feel. Doing this daily will help your child get into the habit of talking and thinking about their feelings and thoughts.
The other suggestion is to use the ‘WOW’ Board so they can write down, whilst discussing with an adult, what they did that day and how it made them feel. We need to get children talking whilst at the same time making them feel safe and comfortable so they open up.
How do you get your child to talk and open up? I’d love to hear what works for you too.