The word 'Family' spelled out with wooden Scrabble tiles

Every person in the world, just like us, has different needs. We all need something different from our friends and our family members than maybe what they need from us. What we need can uplift us, support us, help us, reduce our stress and bring joy and laughter into our lives. Have a think about what you need from other people in your life. It may be nothing but I doubt it. We all have people in our lives for a reason and our needs from our friends and family can change depending on what is happening in our lives. Let’s look at the different needs of people.

Understanding The Different Needs of People

Let’s focus on family. We are all hopefully part of a family and, as parents, we understand that each of our children needs something different from us at different times of their lives. We know that when one of our children is sitting exams they will need our time to support them – make them regular snacks, test them, spend time with them to relax, support them emotionally. This may last several weeks or months.

We know that, if one of our children is gifted in an activity, they will need our time and commitment to drive them around and watch them partake in that activity. This may be a regular commitment that lasts years.

Our children do not always see that, when we invest lots of our time, money or energy into one of their siblings, that it is fair. They will often want the same amount of time/money as their siblings and for you to be as committed to their lives as you are to their siblings. Of course, you are, so we need to help them understand that everyone in the family has different needs and these are constantly changing.

So let’s make it clear to them that this is the way it is. There is no reason to be jealous or upset with you. They are still getting what they need from you but they also have to think about what everyone else in the family needs too. If they feel they aren’t getting their needs met then they need to come and tell you but it not always going to be equal. It is impossible to give equally to everyone all at the same time.The Parents Toolkit

I see many children in my coaching practice who find it frustrating when their siblings are ‘getting more’ from their parents than they are. If you have a child who needs to balance this thought better please get in touch. You can also read my other blogs about siblings to help with specific problems.

For other help with your children have a read of The Parent’s Toolkit. This book is a great resource for parents and helps them to deal with day-to-day family issues and problems.