All children mature at different rates. There is little we can do about it as it will depend on how they are being brought up and who they are socialising with at school. It will also depend on the rules that they have at home and their belief system. Some 12-year-olds will be 12 going on 15 years old, whilst some will act like a 10-year-old.
Parents can be a small part of how fast their children mature and so if your child acts much younger than their peers they should think about how they can get them to act appropriately for their age. For starters, I find talking to them like a young person, rather than a younger child, definitely helps. This small thing can help children be more mature.
How To Help Children Be More Mature
Your child’s friends may be allowed to have more freedom than they have. For example:
- they may be watching programmes and films that are for their age or of a higher classification grade
- they may be socialising more or staying out later
- playing video games that are age relevant or a few years above their age.
If your child’s friends are doing things that your child doesn’t do yet, it makes it difficult for them when it comes to conversations in the playground because they will not be able to join in with them. If they aren’t playing/seeing those films/games and not having things in common then what can they do and how can we help?
I want to be clear here. I am not going to say allow your child to do the same as their peers but can you think about your child? How old are they? What could they be doing that is suitable for their age rather than younger than their age? Can you move them on? It might be that you:
- start to teach your child more independence so that they can see friends out of the house and start to be more streetwise.
- You could suggest that they start socialising more and getting them to make their own plans. Plans that are age appropriate and safe. You might need to help them at the beginning. Perhaps they can start playing age-appropriate games and watching films that are not for younger children.
It might also be helpful to ask your friends who have children of similar ages what their children are doing/seeing/playing. That will give you an idea of what their peers are doing so you can decide what is right for you and your child. Parents don’t want our children to be left behind or to be seen as childish so it is useful to think about who is my child and how can I help them be a bit more mature?
If you would like your child to have the life skills they need to be doing age-appropriate things please get in touch with me to learn more about coaching for children. .
