Most children do not like conflict. It makes them feel empowered whilst they are shouting but they feel terrible the moment it is all over. Shouting does not resolve anything and in fact it can make a situation much worse. Conflict is going to happen between parents and children so all children must have the life skill to resolve conflict with their parents but also with their peers.
Children, as they get older, will need to be aware that their thoughts, feelings and opinions may go against the grain of others and aggravate them. Let’s park the peer conflict and concentrate on the conflict between parents and child and how to move on from it.
Understand And Resolve Conflict Between Parents And Children
- We need to teach children that conflicts can be opportunities for growth. When they happen they can learn something from them – both about themselves and the person they are disagreeing with. It can make them change their own behaviour or their thoughts and it can give them a greater awareness of who they are and what they stand for.
- We need to teach them not to be afraid or fear conflict. When conflict happens it shows that the other person has different ideas or beliefs to them and that a resolution ideally needs to be sought.
- Most of the conflict in a child’s life I get to hear about is between the child and their parents. The child is unable to see where the mum or dad is coming from when they are asked to do something. To reduce this conflict you can make your child aware of what is going to happen, give them a time of when something is going to happen and what is expected of them. You can also allow children to voice their own opinions on what is happening so that they too have a voice. When both parties listen to each other and are able to discuss something, there will be less need for conflict.
How do you deal with or anticipate conflict with your child? Staying calm tends to help too. For some really simple strategies on conflict resolution have a look at this article with 5 strategies to deal with conflict.
Alternatively, I do help with conflict resolution in my coaching sessions. If you would like to know more then please do get in touch with me.
