I don’t think I have ever needed a security blanket friend – a person that I have needed to have around to make me feel more secure and safe. I was happy as a child to be friends with lots of different children so long as I had someone to play with during break time. Not all children are like this and like to have a friend that they do everything with. They rely on a security blanket friend during break, when they go to a party or when they want to do an after-school activity. They don’t want to do whatever it is alone and it’s not because they are shy or quiet but because it means they will have someone they can rely on that will talk to them and not leave them. Is this okay? Should we let our older child call their friend every time a party invitation comes up or should we encourage them to make that decision on their own?
Don’t Rely On Others – Be Brave
Your child either wants to go to the party or the after-school activity or they don’t. It shouldn’t depend on their friend going. If they do want to go, encourage them to go and enjoy it without their friend. There will be lots of other people they will know and there will be many situations in the future where they will have to turn up on their own and make conversation with people they don’t know so well. It is such a useful skill to have – to only rely on yourself and making conversation.
Our children cannot always rely on a friend to be there and hold their hand. Teaching them interpersonal and conversational skills will stand them in good stead for the future.
I have written many blogs on raising children’s confidence and dealing with friendship and self-esteem to help parents help their children. Take a look at my previous blogs to give you the tools you need to help your child ditch their security blanket. Alternatively, you may find my book ‘Being Me (And Loving It) a really useful tool.
