I am very familiar with the different types of parent there are and how we choose to parent affects the way are children are. They learn from us – they watch, learn and copy. If we talk about people in a discouraging way then they are more likely to. If we share our judgements with them they are are also more likely to judge people by OUR standards. If we insinuate that they are not working hard enough and we push them harder to be at the top of the class they learn from us that they have to be competitive and be the best rather than being THEIR best. I don’t want this for my children. The Tiger Parent is not for me.
I have just finished an amazing book called ‘Taming the Tiger Parent’ by Tanith Carey and it is possibly the best book I have read in the Parenting Arena. We all know about the Tiger Parent – the parent who thinks they have the best intentions of their child at heart but is constantly pushing them to be the best. They compare their child to their peers and are willing to pull out all the stops so that their child can be ahead of the game. They fill their child’s time with extra work and activities after school and there does not seem to be much time for fun or relaxation. I think I may have exaggerated here and not all Tiger Parents have all these traits. However, by reading the book I can see how we all have a bit of the Tiger Parent within us and as Tanith rightly puts it – it needs to be tamed.
Tanith explains that as soon as we have a child we start to set our children against their peers in terms of ability. Looking back I did this too – mainly because I had other mums telling me what their children were doing and me thinking , ‘Why isn’t mine doing that?’ She talks about all the different aspects of Tiger Parenting. I never know there were so many and think I am guilty of one or two. If not in action then in thoughts. I plan to stop those creeping in.
How Does Being A Tiger Parent Affect Children?
She addresses how Tiger Parenting affects our children – a chunky chapter that highlights the damage it can make on our relationship with them, our relationship with other parents and how it makes children feel and think. And then, in another straight talking down to earth chapter gives a bucket load of great ideas that parents can implement to take the pressure off their children and allow them to be children. It all makes plenty of sense.
I loved the book and recommend you to read it. It is insightful and thought-provoking. It teaches you how to parent in a better, more conducive way so that stay connected to your child and see them for who they are not what they can do. It is my kind of thing and I think it may be yours too. You can buy her book here via Amazon
