The text 'I love myself, I can, self esteem' written on brown paper

It is never a parent’s aim to destroy a child’s self-esteem however there are some things they may do without thinking that can have a detrimental effect on how a child feels about themselves.  Have a look at the list below so you know how to boost a child’s self-esteem, rather than destroy it.

How Parents Can Boost A Child’s Self-Esteem

Stop comparing your child to others

In a moment of anger and frustration, parents might compare their child to another one of their children or one of their friends by saying, ‘why can’t you be more like….’ Children who are constantly compared to others can come to believe that they are not as good as other children and they may believe that their parents meant it. Of course, they don’t.

Don’t criticise them

A child’s self-esteem can be fragile so parents need to be careful about what they say to them, about them when they are in earshot and how they treat them. They need to be aware of not criticising who they are. Parents may want their children to be carbon copies of themselves but that will never happen so they need to let them be who they are. This can be difficult when it comes to academia, for example. Parents may expect their children to do really well because they did and may appear disappointed when they don’t perform amazingly. The look on a parents face and the words of, ‘Why did you only get a C?’ will make the child feel that they have not lived up to their expectations.

Don’t be bossy and controlling

Children will also be affected by bossy parents who don’t allow them to make decisions or choices. By doing so, parents are undermining what their child is capable of and denying them the personal growth that both bring. Decision-making is a key life skill that boosts self-esteem.

Give lots of praise

Another way parents can destroy their child’s self-esteem is by not recognising a job well done. Why would a child want to do something for you to help the family if you don’t even say ‘thank you’ and show appreciation? Children will resent doing that chore/job and so stop helping out. Children love validation so parents, please can you give them some?

The tips above will help children feel good about themselves which will have a knock-on effect on the rest of their life so let’s support them, encourage them and be kind with our words so they feel strong and able.

To help more with your child’s self-esteem have a look at my books that have great tips and activities to help your child feel great or feel free to give me a call on 07961 312749 for an informal chat.