I dislike hearing girls tell me that they think they are ugly or not pretty. Especially when they are primary school age. What do they know about pretty or ugly? Why do they think that? Where do they get their pre-conceived idea of beauty? Children have an idea of what they find beautiful and sometimes they may say that they are not. If critical children are verbalising that they are ugly and they wish they looked like another person then parents need to help them to see their own beauty. The inside beauty and their features that make them stand out from the crowd in a good way.
Helping Critical Children
It is important that you send children a clear message that appearance is not important and you can do this by mentioning positively what you like about your own face or your hair – kind eyes, the colour of your hair etc. Children will hear this and think about themselves. You can also talk about what you like in other people – about their personality and what qualities they have that make them a good person. Your child needs to realise that looking pretty isn’t everything but that it is what’s inside that friends are drawn to. Be a good role model for your child.
You can ask your child what qualities their friends have that make them like them, and if it is their appearance that makes them a good friend or a welcoming smile. What about them? What qualities do they have?
There will be a place where the ‘I am ugly’ has come from. Find out where it is and challenge it so that they can start to question it themselves. Help them to look in the mirror and appreciate what they see that is unique to them and if they do start to slip into old habits silence any negative self-talk as soon as you hear it.
If you would loke some help with your child’s self image or how they feel about themselves get them to read Being Me (And Loving it). Its a great book full of stories written for children.
